So we’re all familiar with the term ‘you want what you can’t have’ but how factual is that term? And if it is in fact true, what is it about not being able to have what we want that makes it so appealing?
Do we actually want something or someone because we genuinely can’t have it/them?
Surely that can’t be correct! There are many things out there that I want and I can’t have whether it is due to money, the circumstance, religion and so forth but eventually over time I like to think I get over it.
Let’s paint the most basic scenario that has happened to every woman or even person at one point in their lives.
So you’ve met someone new. Lovely person and they seem to be into you just as much as you’re into them. You’re texting at all times, getting to know each other, you know, the usual crap. You meet up a couple times and it seems great. Maybe for some reason it doesn’t work out but no biggie because you’re both still on great terms and you seem to be ‘friends’ now. Then one day you wake up and think to yourself; hmm I may like this person more than a friend which is understandable because let’s face it, you didn’t start off as friends and staying in contact after doing the deed means you’re technically still getting to know one another so there’s a high chance someone could potentially catch feelings. You weren’t actually head over heels before you decided you may now like this person more than a friend, you just had the initial thought of ‘wait a minute, we get on extremely well, we have a good foundation, I’m obviously attracted to you in some shape or form. Maybe I could like you more than a friend or I can definitely see this being a good thing if we ever decided to go there’.
Cool. So now what?
You have this new-found information and you’re both on great terms, erm why not express it? So you decide to express this new-found feeling to the other participant and the other person is not as receptive as you thought. I mean c’mon you’re not expecting an engagement ring but just a simple ‘no I totally get you’ would suffice but in fact they’re now acting the complete opposite to how you thought they’d react.
So they now start to ignore you and take forever to respond to your messages but instead of you being like ‘well you’re an asshole, I’m over this’, your feelings start to heighten. I mean heighten to the point where you actually start to think you could potentially be falling. Funny that because when you first thought you liked them it was just a mere thought but as the suspense of not knowing whether they felt the same increased so did your so called ‘feelings’ and now as you know they definitely don’t, you’ve jumped from ‘we could be kinda cute’ to ‘you better marry my ass’ in the space of weeks! WTF!
Am I right or nah?
Now flip the scenario.
You’re talking to another individual who digs you hard! This person is so up for it, sometimes you have to check in the mirror to see if you have diamond encrusted eyes because you just don’t get it but whatevs. Extremely attractive, caring, super sweet, shows you attention and makes you feel like you run the world. This person informs you of their feelings which now causes you to shy away. Maybe not intentionally but all of sudden you realised you just don’t have that spark, there’s something missing! There’s always something missing when there’s no chase, when there’s no suspense. There’s something that just isn’t right well so you tell yourself. Why is that?
It’s like sales. Apparently the most effective way of selling is to make the product/service seem unavailable to the consumer. Offer it and then take it away and watch the customer jump, they say.
So do we actually want what we can’t have or is it an illusion? Or is the suspense created so we can appreciate it if we eventually obtain it?
I would love to hear what your thoughts are on wanting what you can’t have.
Bee x
THEGIRLSNEXTDOOR 