the goddess next door

admit

So we’re all familiar with the term ‘you want what you can’t have’ but how factual is that term? And if it is in fact true, what is it about not being able to have what we want that makes it so appealing?
Do we actually want something or someone because we genuinely can’t have it/them?

Surely that can’t be correct! There are many things out there that I want and I can’t have whether it is due to money, the circumstance, religion and so forth but eventually over time I like to think I get over it.

Let’s paint the most basic scenario that has happened to every woman or even person at one point in their lives.
So you’ve met someone new. Lovely person and they seem to be into you just as much as you’re into them. You’re texting at all times, getting to know each other, you know, the usual crap. You meet up a couple times and it seems great. Maybe for some reason it doesn’t work out but no biggie because you’re both still on great terms and you seem to be ‘friends’ now. Then one day you wake up and think to yourself; hmm I may like this person more than a friend which is understandable because let’s face it, you didn’t start off as friends and staying in contact after doing the deed means you’re technically still getting to know one another so there’s a high chance someone could potentially catch feelings. You weren’t actually head over heels before you decided you may now like this person more than a friend, you just had the initial thought of ‘wait a minute, we get on extremely well, we have a good foundation, I’m obviously attracted to you in some shape or form. Maybe I could like you more than a friend or I can definitely see this being a good thing if we ever decided to go there’.

Cool. So now what?

You have this new-found information and you’re both on great terms, erm why not express it? So you decide to express this new-found feeling to the other participant and the other person is not as receptive as you thought. I mean c’mon you’re not expecting an engagement ring but just a simple ‘no I totally get you’ would suffice but in fact they’re now acting the complete opposite to how you thought they’d react.
So they now start to ignore you and take forever to respond to your messages but instead of you being like ‘well you’re an asshole, I’m over this’, your feelings start to heighten. I mean heighten to the point where you actually start to think you could potentially be falling. Funny that because when you first thought you liked them it was just a mere thought but as the suspense of not knowing whether they felt the same increased so did your so called ‘feelings’ and now as you know they definitely don’t, you’ve jumped from ‘we could be kinda cute’ to ‘you better marry my ass’ in the space of weeks! WTF!

Am I right or nah?

Now flip the scenario.
You’re talking to another individual who digs you hard! This person is so up for it, sometimes you have to check in the mirror to see if you have diamond encrusted eyes because you just don’t get it but whatevs. Extremely attractive, caring, super sweet, shows you attention and makes you feel like you run the world. This person informs you of their feelings which now causes you to shy away. Maybe not intentionally but all of sudden you realised you just don’t have that spark, there’s something missing! There’s always something missing when there’s no chase, when there’s no suspense. There’s something that just isn’t right well so you tell yourself. Why is that?

satc

It’s like sales. Apparently the most effective way of selling is to make the product/service seem unavailable to the consumer. Offer it and then take it away and watch the customer jump, they say.

So do we actually want what we can’t have or is it an illusion? Or is the suspense created so we can appreciate it if we eventually obtain it?

I would love to hear what your thoughts are on wanting what you can’t have.

Bee x

I, for one have been out of the dating game for a while now so everyone I seem to talk to is automatically made a friend without even realising but what happens when you actually start to giggle louder than you usually would with a friend? Check your phone every second to see if that ‘friend’ has replied? Does this so called friend now unlock the gates and let their self out the friend zone or where do we go from here?

It’s always hard to figure out if someone can be a potential lover or the best friend you’ve ever had by one conversation but then another conversation can turn to more or can turn to less. Then all we’re doing is deciding if this one is a keeper or a goner just by conversation and is that realistic so my question is; how do we really differentiate a friend from a lover without having to kiss every frog that comes our way?

I personally don’t want to have to kiss every frog to get to my prince because it does get a bit yucky and plain right depressing after a while but I also don’t want to lose out on my prince charming.

I’m someone that believes in everything magical and what’s meant to be will be. If I kiss someone and I honestly don’t hear or feel fireworks exploding in my head, that is an automatic friend zone but it does get to a point where my friend zone will get full and a girl can only have so many friends.

I do think comfortability comes with age which makes us question all the little things that may spark a red flag when we think we may have found a potential. And why is it that the red flags normally stem from someone having all the right attributes but not the sexual chemistry? Which makes me question if life really begins at the end of our comfort zone and if we’re missing out on the one because we’re scared to take risks?

A girlfriend of mine told me to stop overthinking and go with the flow TODAY and forget all the other days because life is for living in the moment. So maybe we should stop looking, thinking and just enjoy that person we have right now, whether it’s a friend or lover because you never know what the end result could be. It could be the perfect lover, partnership, friend or even all three.